Nationality: Scottish. 54 WALLPAPERS 312796 POINTS. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. I've had jokes that died on stage. Born: November 24, 1942. ", I asked and he said "ten past twelve". He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!”, “Life is supposed to be fun. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.”, “I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. Susan 243 books view quotes : Nov 24, 2019 08:48AM. They're not huge, complicated events; they're just magical wee moments when somebody says 'I love you' or 'You're a really good at what you do' or simply 'You're a good person'.”, “The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever becoming one.”, “Never trust people who've only got one fucking book.”, “Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again so is a bicycle repair kit.”, “People often say that football and boxing are the ways out of the working class and they are your ticket out of that kind of life, if you happen to want to leave it.

I'm a citizen of the world. But, for me, the library is the key.

Billy Connolly Jokes. I loved Japan. Billy Connolly. Billy Connolly. More Billy Connolly Quotes. So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel? Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. And it was delightful. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. "“, „That man (Ronald Reagan, who was President of the USA at the time), he sits at that desk in the White House, and the button is there that can end the world: BOOM! By all means grow old, but don't mature. ”, “Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. I don't want to say I don't believe in God but I don't think I do. Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet. And this man farted. "It's the best in the world", he said. Doesn't try it on. After receiving an honorary degree from the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama: Any authentic work of art must start an argument between the artist and his audience. Discover Billy Connolly famous and rare quotes. 8. Sir William "Billy" Connolly, is a Scottish stand-up comedian, musician, presenter, actor, artist and voice artist. Babies pretend to be dead. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. I would hate to have been born, lived and died and nobody noticed. I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. BEING-HAPPY.

I like Dali and Magritte. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends. I don't believe in angels, no.

Life is supposed to be fun. It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things. He is sometimes known, especially in his homeland, by the Scots nickname "The Big Yin" . A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Biography.

And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.”, “Film and TV V.I.P, seeker of the peace, part time chandelier cleaner, a legend in his own time, oppressor of champions, soldier of fortune, world traveller, bonvivant, all round good guy, international lover, casual hero, philosopher, wars fought, bears wrestled, equations solved, virgins enlightened, revolutions quelled, tigers castrated, orgies organised, bars quaffed dry, governments run, test rockets flown, life president of the Liquidarian Society of Great Britain and Ireland.”, “And we took off-whoosh-into the night. I'm never likely to go there. It seems unlikely to me, but then—does a trout know that I exist? It is everything. For the […] Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? Not only was it the worst fart, it was the longest.

You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

I've absolutely no idea if God exists. To see what your friends thought of this quote, please sign up! They all want so little. Share this quote: Like Quote. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.”, “I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it's not all-consuming. I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

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Top 10 Billy Connolly Quotes 10. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of, Made In Scotland: My Grand Adventures in a Wee Country, Made in Scotland: My Grand Adventures in a Wee Country, Tall Tales and Wee Stories: The Best of Billy Connolly. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. All Billy Connolly Quotes and Sayings - find your favorite inspirational quotes! And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. 23 0 Billy Connolly. Quotations by Billy Connolly, Scottish Comedian, Born November 24, 1942. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. Time is a waste of life. A lot of people are too easily offended. A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!". None of it is a comment on anything.

Heckling is an act of cowardice.

It's not a job or occupation. I absolutely loved it. It's my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone. 109 wallpapers “There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.” — Billy Connolly “I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. After struggling for survival in petty jobs he started his entertainment career as a singer. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. What a smashing place. After that who cares? He is sometimes known, especially in his homeland, by the Scots nickname "The Big Yin" . When people say "it's always the last place you look". “When people say "it's always the last place you look". William “Billy” Connolly, Jr., CBE is a Scottish comedian, musician, presenter and actor. It's something they reserve just for me.

Billy Connolly.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

It's as if war is fun or noble, when actually it's all about shit and snot and blood and guts and soldiers stomachs hanging out and people with their faces blown off. Billy Connolly: his 36 funniest, wisest quotes.

And when you stop wanting to know, you're dea. Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? I love Los Angeles. Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet. #Funny #Witty #Men “The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.”-- Billy Connolly . I've done okay. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh. Get wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life.“, „People die all the time. The sea is full of things that bite us, sting us, hurt the soles of our feet, and it's extremely cold. November 1942. There's an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it's a different venue.

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time? Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?

I get my share. Share funny quotes by Billy Connolly and quotations about comedy and giving. Hit him with the left, he's a big Jessie!“, „I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. comedyquotestv. 51 likes All Members Who Liked This Quote. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.“, „I came here on Concorde today… and I arrived before I fucking left!“, „Who the fuck are you? My father's younger than him and we don't give him the controls for the television!“, „Life is a waste of time. Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Billy Connolly is a famous Scottish actor, musician, and comedian. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Our motto is: Don't quote it if you can't source it. Shauna 129 books view quotes : Jan 24, 2020 01:47AM. I think the working class is something.

114 WALLPAPERS 200 POINTS. I love fishing. Life is not a rehearsal. My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. It's proof you exist, that all the practising with your banjo in your bedroom paid off. #Desire #Bars #Politician “There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.”-- Billy Connolly .

You're okay as long as you don't grow up. It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Being Happy Quotes. I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless. "Biography/ Personal Quotes". He is sometimes known, especially in his native Scotland, by the nickname "The Big Yin" ("The Big One", a reference to his 6' height).

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